You know… that Blog?

Reality bites Jenn 2.0

Written By: Jenn - Oct• 23•10

Well, some of it does, anyway.

So we’re all aware that I’m working hard on Jenn 2.0 this year, correct? Well, it’s going reasonably well I think.

Besides changing my general attitude, my hair, and my clothes, I’ve done some serious re-evaluating of myself, head to toe. What did I dislike about myself?

Being blind without wearing heavy duty prescription glasses was a big one on my list.

I had PRK Custom laser eye surgery back in February and many of you suffered alongside me as I went through the first week of agony, plus the weeks and months of uncertainty and the fear that I’d made a horrible, horrible mistake. Of course, now I’m seeing very well, and while I wouldn’t EVER go through it again, I’m finally happy with my sight.

Confession: I had my teeth professionally whitened. They weren’t horribly brown, but they were yellow enough that it bothered me. I was pretty thrilled with the results of that.

Since last Christmas I’ve also been working on my health. It hasn’t been going as well as I’d planned, and it’s 100% my own doing. Sure, I’m down over 30lbs and my clothes are literally hanging on me. It’s been a slow road on that one. See, I have never eaten too much. Eating the wrong food wasn’t even my problem. My problem was that I never wanted to eat, often didn’t, and I put my body into starvation mode. Dumb, dumb move. Guess what happens when you put your body into starvation mode? It thinks you’re in some sort of famine, and stores everything you put in your mouth. It also throws your system into chaos.

I have been fighting cholesterol issues for a couple years now. At first we didn’t get why that was, but when we got a few other tests run and I started seeing a team – yes, a team! – of internal medicine specialists, it all became very clear. I’d done this to myself! What a dumb ass.

But I’ve been seeing this team for months now, and really thought I was getting it all under control. I’ve been eating (almost) as much as they say I need to every day, and I’ve been more active. So imagine my surprise when I went in to get my most recent test results, and found that my cholesterol was even worse! My HDL (good) cholesterol is practically non-existent, which is actually a hereditary thing on my father’s side, and my LDL (bad) cholesterol is through the roof. The ratio is bad. Bad bad bad. Finally we had no choice but to start me on Lipitor. I’ve been fighting going on medication – I hate taking pills. But it’s at a very serious level, and I don’t feel like dying at 43, so Lipitor it is. Frig.

I don’t know that it’s just my diet. Heredity is one factor, and of course I know I’m not as active as I could be, plus I have sustained stress running 2 businesses, and a few personal things have happened recently have temporarily stressed me out (all better now though – I’m happy as a clam!). According to a few studies, stress can affect cholesterol in otherwise healthy adults. Go figure.

Oh, I also had an echocardiogram (ultrasound on my heart) which revealed a somewhat significant heart murmur. But my stress test was great, and the cardiologist said not to worry about it, since clearly my heart can take the physical stress.

Well, I figure it’s better I find these things out now while I’m still young and healthy enough to do something about it. And I am.

Onward and upward. I’ve been a gym member for at least 10 years, and a much-younger-but-terrific friend that I sing with in the larger choir also belongs to the same gym. She and I started going together this past week. I hate to tell you how many years long it’s been since I last used my gym bag. They couldn’t even find me in the system my card was so old! They had to search! No matter, they found me, dusted off my account, and let me in. We had a great work out.

We both had to take pain killers the next day. Oh. My. God. Totally worth it though, right? Sure, that’s right. I wasn’t too happy that J-B saw me in my gym clothes when we went for coffee right after though… scrub that from your mind, will you J-B?? Thanks.

A bit of a rant, if you’ll forgive me… My mother sent me a link to a new cholesterol-fighting Becel (margarine) that just came on the market. It looked like a great idea! But the thing comes in such a teeny-tiny ½lb container that I almost missed it on the cooler shelf when I actively searched it out, and – oh my god – costs the same price as the 2lb container! At $5.27, which is what the 2lb container also costs, you’d be paying $21.08 for the same amount of product. Sorry, but it’s margarine. I’m not cheap, but I cannot justify in my mind spending that kind of money on margarine. Keep your 9% Plant Sterols, Becel.

So Jenn 2.0 is going to take longer than a year. I knew that going in. Yes we have 2 full months of 2010 left, but it’s going to take longer than that for me to be satisfied, if that is even possible (I suspect not). ShaMoo tells me I’m too hard on myself, and that others don’t see me the way I see myself. Of course, being one of my closest friends, she and others who love me probably have some rose coloured glasses on. I hope they never take them off! They are very good for me.

Truth be told, I am happier with myself these days – more than I’ve been in a very long time. I suspect that as I continue to work towards my goals that this will get even better.

Here’s a recent picture of me from Main Street‘s last photo shoot with Leah Kirin… put your pretty pink glasses on first please… ;)

 

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11 Comments

  1. quilly says:

    30 pounds is great! And about remaking yourself in a year — did you know it is harder to unlern something then it is to learn something brand new? Of course the remake isn’t quick or easy, but if you’re happier, it’s worth it. You’re looking good – -even without my rose colored glasses!

  2. Thom says:

    You look fantastic my friend. So good that I’m putting that picture up on the bulls eye of my dart board ROFLMAO *ducking from the slap upside the head LOL Seriously, take all the time you need. You are on the right track and as Q said, as long as you are happier, that’s all that counts. Who cares how long it takes. 30 lbs is excellent my friend. I for one am very proud of you and happy to be going on this journey with you :)

  3. Melissa B. says:

    I’ve been at peace with “me” for quite some time now, but I do need to take a page from your book and work toward shaping up. I actually started on a walking regimen a couple of weeks ago, but then came down with a bronchial infection. You can’t win, huh?

  4. Betty says:

    I never really knew that about “starvation mode”, until you mentioned it to me once. But it makes sense. I´m glad you are succeeding in eating well, and congrats on the big weight loss!! That is so great. I´ve lost 10 pounds so far, and it´s getting harder and harder.
    Hope you continue to be a better you!

  5. Madeleine says:

    Bless you, what a wonderfully candid post.
    Self esteem is an important thing and when my friend and I are suffering from low levels we treat ourselves, too. We have a makeover and tell one another ‘You’re worth it!’ And Jenn, you are worth it. So glad you’re happier and you’ve taken time out on yourself. :O)

  6. Amanda says:

    Reality doesn’t bite… it spurs us on! When my mom got ill last year menopause and high blood pressure came crashing down all at once and I thought done for but let me tell you I am proof things can change less than 9 months later for now at least I am off my blood pressure meds Yippie! Proof that thingies can get better and they can trust me! Your pic looks amazing and you should be so proud of yourself thay your that much closer to 2.0!
    ***hugs***

  7. annie says:

    Way to go Jenn. You look so beautiful. I am proud of you and wish I had just an ounce of your ambition. Keep up the good work.

    I’ve had alot of changes in my life the last five months. None of them fun. I have put on 5 pounds. Not fun either.

    Take care.

  8. carma says:

    I seriously commend your efforts. I’m all talk about change but rarely make any progress. At all. Soooo relieved your eyes are doing well. Yeah, heredity is a “B” — my friend who is thin and eats better than anyone I know has cholesterol issues.

    Hoping some of your stress subsides, but if you are running two successful businesses I guess it comes with the territory!