Have you ever had someone that you care about disappoint you so grossly, that there was just no way to fix it? I hope not, for your sake, but it happened for me, and for people that I love not too long ago.
It wasn’t unexpected. I wasn’t shocked. As far as I was concerned, after the first time we saw evidence of the behaviour (months ago) things changed for me, and I knew it was only a matter of time before the final straw was offered.
That said, this hasn’t made me unhappy, as I’m sure it was intended. What it did was piss me off.
Not for myself mind you, since I saw it coming, and it’s somewhat of a relief to have it over and done with, but for the way in which it was done. It was all so unnecessary.
Just a few words to the one who caused all of this…
You don’t go after the people that I love and get away with it. The fact that you were cut off without much discussion proves that you went too far, and didn’t think about your actions, friend. What was the point of doing what you did? We can’t see any – except that it maybe, for a few minutes, made you feel like you were justified in your behaviour. Showing up where you said you wouldn’t be? Totally expected. Emailing one of us, knowing that person would share it with the rest of us? Well, your intention was to upset, but we had a good chuckle over it.
You know, I would have actually understood if you had gone after me. I’ve never put up with your quiet pouting and backhanded comments, and I’m sure that annoyed you to no end. So, no, you wouldn’t have done that, since you knew full well that you couldn’t hurt me, and that I wouldn’t put up with your BS. So what did you do? You went after one of your biggest supporters. Someone who is sweet, and kind, and had always given you the benefit of the doubt, even when the writing was on the wall. And for what? What did you think you’d accomplish? All it did for you was make you lose people that honestly loved you. We really did. Past tense. You killed those feelings dead with your mean spirited comments and abusive behaviour.
You went too far. We could have stayed friends to some degree, but you went too far. And you’ve lost. And I wonder… do you have any real idea what it is that you’ve lost? Maybe not yet. Once you get a chance to really think about it though? You will. Until last Sunday and those “missiles” you sent, which were clearly intended to damage, I was feeling very sorry for you and wondering how we’d get us all through this mess. I wanted to make sure you were ok, and that what was going on didn’t damage you further. Not anymore. Not after that. Now that it’s been a week, I am past the flicker of hurt, and the flame of anger. I feel absolutely nothing at all now, where you’re concerned. Nothing.
Do you know what it’s done to those of us who were your closest friends?
Nothing. We’re fine, and we’ll continue to be fine. You can’t hurt us. We have moved on and continue to enjoy our lives to the fullest. There’s a sense of relief, to be honest. No more walking on eggshells around someone so volatile we were never sure what to say that wouldn’t set you off. No more passive-aggressive nonsense and mental abuse. Hallelujah. We’re free.
I hope that you find what it is that you’re looking for, and that you can finally allow yourself to be happy. I truly do, despite the anger that this whole mess has evoked in me. I’ll get over it. I am over it.
Folks, I’m not going to name names; it’s not important. What I will offer you in the way of information though, is that my family is fine, and unscathed. My best friends? Still my best friends, and if anything, even stronger and closer than before the nonsense. In a way, this person did us a major favour, and maybe we should offer thanks for the behaviour that lead us to this.
Nah, I’m not quite there yet. But… I’m absolutely OK.
I do offer an apology to those friends I mentioned above that are reading this, because they’d probably rather I just left this alone. But I don’t like to let things fester, and with me… well, this is who I am. You always know where you stand with me. I’d like to think that’s a good thing; you can decide if you like me or not, and get on with your life! Life is too short to wonder what effect you have one someone, don’t you think?
My friends… I hope you have a wonderful day. I fully intend to! SO looking forward to 2 exciting rehearsals this evening, so many great events in the coming weeks. Happy days!
Got your haiku ready for tomorrow? This post is a bit of a segue into that, since our topic for tomorrow is “Pathways”. Have you chosen yours?