You know… that Blog?

I’m all about…

Written By: Jenn - May• 02•10

…telling it like it is.

Is that a good thing, I wonder? My family and friends certainly know where they stand with me, but sometimes I think maybe I’m too much of an open book. Is a little mystery a good thing? “Familiarity breeds contempt” crosses my mind. I’m pretty sure those closest to me don’t need to know everything that crosses my mind. They probably roll their eyes when I start going on about how I’m feeling about every little thing.

Most bloggers are the type to let it all hang out though, so I guess I’m in good company?! What do you think, dear readers? Do I share too much of myself without thinking it through?

Feeling a bit introspective today, as you can probably tell. I’ve made a bunch of changes in my life recently, and most of them are working out really well. My eye surgery… notsomuch. Yes I know you’re probably getting sick to death and bored to tears hearing about it. I’m sick of whining about it too! But… it’s all-consuming for me. Literally. I’m really struggling with it, and this past week has been especially trying. The contacts Dr. Dipstick thrust into my eyes on Monday have screwed me up beyond belief. I can see my monitor a tiny bit better (which isn’t saying much), but everything else – and I do mean everything – is distorted. I’m seeing double, which is just so much fun I can’t tell you. This morning I burst into tears in the middle of doing a mundane task, and sat there blubbering like a child for the better part of 10 minutes. So glad I was alone… didn’t need Wee One to witness my meltdown. I’m just so frustrated. It’s still too early to take any action (and thanks for all the comments, commiseration, and suggestions, but I really do need to wait) and they tell me things may yet get better. I really don’t think so, and suspect I’ll be going through the surgery again come August or September. I dread it.

On a lighter note, I had the group over for dinner and rehearsal on Wednesday. Everyone brought something, and it was awesome. It was so nice to have them here! Love them to pieces. We really have so much fun together, and J-B makes the best pork tenderloin on the planet. No, I’m serious. I have great recipes for tenderloin, but his blows mine out of the water. Best part? He shared the recipe with us! What a sweetheart. ShaMoo made fab grilled veggies, and Knarf brought enough sweets to fatten an army, including a dozen cannoli because ShaMoo gave him a strong hint earlier in the week (“Frank, I want cannolis!!”) J-B also brought a really nice bottle of wine, and Knarf brought a gorgeous bottle of ice wine, which we didn’t end up drinking, but will be having this week when we join our accompanist and his lovely wife at their place for our next rehearsal. Just so happens that his wife recently had a BIG birthday, and we want to mark the occasion!

We stood around the island in my kitchen and did our rehearsal, which was also fabulous. Definitely a night where we were all “in the zone”. Sublime.

Having these wonderful people in my life makes bad things like my eye issues easier to bear. They know that, but it bears repeating.

We found out on Friday that we’ve been hired to perform at a Street Festival in June – this is a big thing for us! Our largest paying gig to date! This one day festival gets literally thousands of visitors. We’re very excited. We have one next weekend too – a community carnival – in another city. I just love having things to look forward to!

Since I’ve arrived at a bright spot in an otherwise morose, disjointed post, I am going to hit publish and get on with my day. I hope yours is going well!

P.S. if you’re on Blogger, and find I’ve suddenly disappeared from your “followers”, don’t panic! I’m still following you, but I cleaned out my old, unused/unwanted Blogger profile. You’re now properly in my Google Reader is all. :)


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  1. quilly says:

    I know why you are carrying on so about your eyes. My eyes will have to get a whole lot worse than they are before I will risk losing what I have in the name of “improvement”. My eyes are already exceedingly dry and the first part of my body to freak out over allergies.

    I am glad you’re picking up singing gigs. That will give you something positive and fun to focus on while you wait to see if your eyes will heal.
    .-= quilly´s last blog ..Impatiently Waiting =-.

  2. Betty says:

    That really sucks, about your eyes! I know how much I´m having trouble getting used to reading glasses (still!). Having been operated on and still not having an improvement must be so hard to take! Maybe a good meltdown was in order. :) I¨m sure you feel better now.
    I love that you are so open in your blog. That´s what brings me here and I hope you stay that way!
    .-= Betty´s last blog ..Six Word Saturday =-.

  3. RiA says:

    Since I’m partially hearing impaired I can’t imagine losing my vision as well! I cried when I needed glasses last year! Fortunately I only wear them at work and when I want to be able to read the race ticker on tv.

    I’m definitely with you on not holding back. It usually takes new managers i work with a bit of time to get used to me. I totally do tell them up front – don’t ask me a question you aren’t prepared to hear an answer for. And everyone around me know exactly where they stand!
    .-= RiA´s last blog ..MULCH =-.

  4. Thom says:

    Congrats on the gig for you and the group. I think that is excellent. Be patient my friend. I know it’s hard. I know, maybe we should hire the mob to talk to your eye doc ya think? LOL
    .-= Thom´s last blog ..Microfiction Monday #29 =-.

  5. Annie says:

    You deserved that mini meltdown. I’m with you on having good friends. Where would we be without them? Congrats on the gigs that your group is getting.

    Hang in there with your eyes. I really can’t imagine having to deal with it. Hope you have a wonderful week.

    P.S. I like girls who tell it like it is. ;)
    .-= Annie´s last blog ..boys are the bomb. =-.

  6. ShaMoo says:

    Ah Jenn, I’ve said it so many times before, but I just can’t imagine your frustration. Why didn’t you call me?? I would have been over in a heartbeat with some twisted raspberries and would have cried right along with you. Argh….I wish there was something I could do to magically make your eyesight be what you want it to be. Sigh….so frustrating. Sending big hugs your way…just think, only two sleeps until MSQ night! :)

  7. Melissa B. says:

    The best thing about blogging is you can write any old thing you feel like, correctamundo? Bravo! to you, dear heart.
    .-= Melissa B.´s last blog ..Extra Credit Opportunity =-.

  8. shakira says:

    Honestly, this is your blog and if you want to talk about how you feel, as a friend, honestly I wish I can do more but I can’t , I can only listen, empathize and send you a prayer.
    I almost lost my eyes TWICE ..I know EXACTLY how you feel.

  9. carma says:

    It is awesome that you have such wonderful friends in your group. You deserve a break from all that eye trauma. I swear I would be sick and scared about having any further surgery. I hope by some miracle it doesn’t get to the point where you have to have the second surgery.
    .-= carma´s last blog ..Culture Clash!!! =-.

  10. Broot says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog… after reading a bit here, I can see why you’re a bit stressed!! I decided not to do the eye thing too – I also have an astigmatism and all that and figured it was too scary.

    I’m originally from Canada!! I hope all goes well with your teen’s friend Amy. Scary stuff. And I gave my two a big hug this morning. :(
    .-= Broot´s last blog ..I bought it, but I hate it. =-.