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A Letter to My Daughters

Written By: Jenn - Feb• 07•13

My Darling Teen and Precious Wee One,

Life seems so fleeting – suddenly I find myself with a grown daughter, trying to make her way in the world. I know it’s not easy, and I’m so proud of you, and the woman you’ve become.

It feels like yesterday that we got the news that we were expecting you! And then, surely only a minute later, our biggest surprise in finding out we were going to have Wee One! At 18 and 8, you both are the best part of my life, the biggest chunk of my heart.

I’ve been thinking that I should be writing down a few thoughts that have been running around in my mind lately. Things I don’t take the time to say, and things you’re too busy to hear. They don’t seem important to you right now, but you need to hear them!

Sure, I’ve taught you manners; I’m always so proud when people tell me how great you both are to be around, that you’re never any trouble, and that you’re considerate. Do you see me doing a victory dance? Well, I’m doing it in my head at any rate. Every time. Hey, I know you’re not perfect; perfect people don’t exist. You’re exactly as you should be.

I’ve taught you kindness. I’ve taught you how to love, and accept that you’re loved. I’ve taught you tolerance, patience, and sarcasm humour.

What do I need to tell you, then? So many things. Today though, I’m thinking about independence. I’m thinking about equality. See, I read an article earlier today that really got me thinking. The tone of the article is that women should be equal, and not put up with religious nonsense that suggests a woman is less than a man. I agree with that, whole-heartedly.

By choice we are not religious. It bothers me to no end when a woman allows herself to be used as a door mat in the name of religion, or when men use religion in a twisted way to hold power over a woman. It’s disgusting. However, not every religious person is painted with the same brush. Nor is every religion based on women’s servitude.

If either of you choose to research and subscribe to a religion – any religion – as adults, you have every right to do so. The difference in doing so as an educated adult is that you go in with your eyes open, without pressure. You’re being raised to question and be curious. You’re being raised to be your own person. You know better than to allow anyone to assume control over your actions, or worse, your body. I can’t stress how important it is that you don’t lose yourself along the way.

We’ve taught you to be tolerant, and accepting. Same sex marriage? Absolutely ok with us. Who are we to presume to tell people who they can and cannot love? If you’re lucky enough to find someone you love with your whole heart, that’s good enough for me. Equality for all. Period.

We are pro-CHOICE. Your body, your choice. Period. Stand up for what you know is right.

I think so far your Dad and I have done a bang-up job in raising you both. You’re smart and beautiful, inside and out. You’re also very different from each other, and that’s ok too! You’re both absolutely wonderful, and I couldn’t be more proud of you.

Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing fine.

All my love,



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  1. Rachael says:

    Well said, Jenn!

  2. I love this. Too many women I’ve known have stayed in horrible, dangerous, damaging relationships because they thing being with ANYBODY is better than being alone. The only thing I’d add is that you can be a happy, whole, well adjusted single person. And that that’s the best possible jumping off point when ‘The Big One’ finally comes along.