You know… that Blog?

Heart Broken

Written By: Jenn - Apr• 24•10

Last night as I was tidying up I came across a crumpled piece of what I thought was scrap notebook paper, laying on the floor in the hallway. Odd place for someone to be chucking garbage, I thought, somewhat annoyed. Opening the paper, I realized it was a “quiet note” – you remember those, right? Where you’re sitting in class, supposedly paying attention, but writing your conversation instead of speaking out loud…? Anyway, this was one of those notes, and by the end of the first sentence I knew exactly who was involved in it, and my heart was breaking.

The Teen has a friend – we’ll call her Amy – who hails from a broken home. Her mother lives in the next town over, and Amy lives with her father and Step-Monster (as the Teen and all their friends call her), 2 half sisters, and a half brother, all younger than she is. She doesn’t want to be there, and the Step Monster tells her constantly that she doesn’t want her, and doesn’t like her. Her own mother, even knowing this, has made excuse after excuse to not bring her to live with her, citing that her apartment is too small, and any number of other things. A bit of a Cinderella story there, with our neglected Amy getting the short end of the stick in pretty much every way. She isn’t allowed to do any extra-curricular activities, take lessons of any sort, go to parties, or do anything that her friends enjoy as a natural part of life. In the same breath though, they don’t seem to care WHERE she is, as long as she’s not causing them any trouble (ie asking for a ride somewhere, or anything that might cost them money). In other words, they’d rather she was a piece of furniture, or better yet, not there at all.

For most of her 16 years, Amy has been unwanted by either parent. Her few friends – the Teen included – do what they can to make her days at school happy and include her in whatever they’re doing. I imagine that is her saving-grace, because any time I’ve been in Amy’s company, she’s been sweet and polite (and not in an Eddie Haskel kind of way) and a pleasure to be around. From what the Teen tells me, Amy has not been driven to drugs, alcohol, or the seamier side of things that such neglect and negativity could bring. She has, despite her family life, a good head on her shoulders.

So imagine how my heart shattered when I read this…

I ask you; what kind of mother would abandon her child? What kind of woman could let her own child think she hates her?

I scanned the note – you can read it here. The nicer handwriting is Amy’s, and the scary scrawl is the Teen’s – I swear her regular handwriting is much nicer than that normally…

Amy refers to Kid’s Help Phone in her note – The Kids Help Phone is a service here in Canada that offers 24/7 support to all kids in any situation they find themselves. Whether it’s immediate danger, a problem at home, bullying at school, or any number of other things that can affect their lives, this phenomenal service has professional counselors available to them and can tell them how to deal with a situation or get help to them on a case by case basis. The number is taught to our kids at school, and posted in hallways.

I haven’t spoken to the Teen about this yet. I will, but she spent the night at another friend’s place last night, and she’s not home yet. In case you’re wondering; she won’t mind that I read it – we talk about Amy all the time, and we’re very open with each other – always have been. (She might mind that I put it online… but that can remain our secret, yes?) I want her to tell Amy that she always has a safe place with us if she needs it, and that I will pick her up any time, day or night. And that Amy can talk to me if she wants to, and I’ll do whatever I can to help her. That poor sweetheart needs all the people in her corner that she can get.

Now go give your kid(s) a hug… how lucky are they to know that we love them?


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  1. Betty says:

    My heart also broke, reading that note! The poor child! I really hope she will get the help she needs. She is lucky to have your daughter as a friend.
    .-= Betty´s last blog ..Six Word Saturday =-.

  2. Jessica says:

    That is so sad. Poor Amy. I hope she is able to find the help that she deserves from Kid’s Help. No child should have to go through that, but unfortunately many do. It will make her a stronger person in the long run.
    .-= Jessica´s last blog ..A New Leaf =-.

  3. Tortuga says:

    Oh the poor baby. I wanna just grab her and hug her right now. No child deserves to feel unloved, ever. Thank you for being such a compassionate and wonderful woman. I hope she does turn to you or someone else supportive. She’s got things going for her in that she is making good choices, but without good support, those choices could turn bad very fast.

    Someone needs to kick her mom’s butt.
    .-= Tortuga´s last blog ..Golf Balls =-.

  4. Thom says:

    This is awful. Jenn I think that Child Protective Services or some agency needs to be contacted about this. This isn’t going to turn out well for anyone if some action isn’t taken now. Thank goodness for people like you. I’m reaching out through this screen and hugging you tightly my friend. I’ll never understand in my life time how people can be so cruel to their children. It makes me want to start a safe home for every single one out there. If only I could…
    .-= Thom´s last blog ..We’re Having a Birthday Party for Quilly =-.

  5. RiA says:

    That just breaks my heart! I wish I lived closer and could give her some support but will have to settle for prayers and a virtual {{hug}}

    Kudo’s to your daughter for being a supportive friend.
    .-= RiA´s last blog ..Vertical Walls =-.

  6. jazzbumpa says:

    Shit, Jenn. This breaks everybody’s heart.

    I have no wise council. Only sympathy. I could tell you stories about my X, but really don’t want to revisit those chapters of history.

    If Amy is holding herself through this at 16, she’s made of pretty stern stuff. I’m proud of you and the teen for being there for her.

    I can only imagine she wanted that note to be found.

    Sad truth is, this is all to often what family life is. Family values – HA!

    Lo siento,
    .-= jazzbumpa´s last blog ..Deep Stupid #17 / Six Word Saturday – 4/24 =-.

  7. shakira says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
    I can so relate to this.I wish she is in Malaysia ,
    then I can offer her a home,
    where there will be a lot of people who loves her.
    Good that you tell Amy that she always has a HOME with you.
    Honestly, Amy NEEDS HELP, NOW.
    Counseling amongst others before she grows up, with a lot of misconceptions but that is only my opinion.

  8. Mama Zen says:

    That is just heartbreaking!
    .-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..My Inner Circle =-.

  9. ShaMoo says:

    So heartbreaking…. Regardless of what you decide to do about her, at least she has your family to model some aspect of her life after. That has to count for a lot! Poor kiddo…

  10. Melissa B. says:

    Oh, this story just tugged at my heartstrings. I’m forwarding it to my chicas…they need a reality check every so often.
    .-= Melissa B.´s last blog ..Hey: Celebrate Good Times, Come On! =-.

  11. Annie says:

    Wow. I am speechless. This makes me sad. I am glad you are following through with the situation. I hope daughter’s friend can feel the love.
    .-= Annie´s last blog ..Who knew toddlers were so heavy. =-.