Growing up in Calgary I had a small group of really great friends. One of my best friends was Sherry – we did everything together; shared our darkest secrets, swooned over REO Speedwagon and Duran Duran songs, wore matching neon “Frankie say Relax” t-shirts, and spent every available moment on horseback in the foothills. We were there for each other through thick and thin, big hair, shoulder pads out-to-here, skinny jeans and stilettos, and above all swore with youthful certainty we would always be best friends for life.

Of course, then came the usual; Boys. Jobs that took up a lot of our free time (although in my case the job came first when I was 12 and boys were still shorter than me), and then I ended up moving away at the end of our final high school year – all the way across the country, to Toronto. We stayed in touch for a while, but as things are wont to do, we eventually lost touch.

Through the years I thought about Sherry often, but marriage, kids, and careers happened, and we never did reconnect. Until about 25 years later, when a chance meeting on Facebook brought us back together! What a marvelous tool that is. It’s been such a hoot catching up and getting to know each other again. In many ways the girls we once were are long gone, and we’re meeting each other again for the first time as jaded, battle-scarred adults. ;)

A disclaimer before you read Sherry’s guest post… I have no control over my guests – I can barely control myself at times – or what they write about except to request they keep it PG and avoid politics and religion as subject matter. When I ask people to write a post for me it’s with the assurance that I won’t change it (ok, ok, I do fix spelling and some punctuation – I can’t help it!!!) but this one? Yikes, Sherry.

Her subject matter makes me squirm. A lot.

The art of being a friend

First let me just say I am no writer and I don’t have a blog. I don’t even read blogs usually so imagine my shock when Jenn let me know about hers and actually asked me to write a post for it! Well, we all know how hard it is to turn her down so here I am, warts and all.

Trouble is I don’t know what to write about that would be remotely interesting to her fellow bloggers so maybe I will just talk about her. Yes, yes. Lets talk about Jenn. Oh she is just gonna hate this. Sorry Jenn. (no I’m not)

Where do I even begin? Well I guess the beginning would be a good place. We were in junior high, and I was going through a really bad time at home. My parents were splitting up and I was a real mess. Jenn found me in the library on a particularly bad day, crying, and put her arms around me. I don’t think she even knew my name, but she knew I needed someone to lean on. That’s Jenn. We were fast friends from that day. She was always there for me, ready to either offer a shoulder or kick my ass as required. I wish I could say I was there for her too, but I really can’t remember a time when she needed me like I needed her! My memory is not what it used to be but I don’t remember her ever asking me for anything. And I have to say I probably sucked as a friend although she never said so. I mean, she threw me a Sweet Sixteen birthday party with every amazing touch she could possibly think of, with all of our friends there, and then I had the gall to be away when she had her 16th birthday that summer, and she spent hers with her grandparents (because even her own parents went out of town!) Nice friend eh? Sure it was summer vacation and everyone was away at camp or on vacation, but I still feel awful about that. I’m pretty sure I didn’t make it up to her either. I’m starting to think that I was a real user and she put up with a lot from me. Wow sorry Jenn!!

You have to know I was devastated when Jenn moved away. We had done our best years of growing up together and she knew things about me that I can’t imagine to this day talking to my current friends about. Sure I had other friends and today have some amazing friends that I spend a lot of time with but Jenn was different. For one thing, she only had one “n” on her name back then! hehehe!

I was never blessed with kids, but I guess since my marriage didn’t last it’s for the best. Jenn was always meant to be a mom though. She has this nurturing spirit that just draws people to her. Even as really young girls she had people coming to her just to talk. She was always willing to listen and offer advice. Not always the best advice though. I mean wow. Walking up to a guy I had the biggest crush on and kissing him was maybe not the best idea she’s ever had. For me. SHE didn’t do it, but she sure thought it was a good idea that I did. It wasn’t and the experience scarred me for life. Him too probably. Maybe she had a mean streak too, come to think of it.

We weren’t angels, Jenn and I. We never got into anything too heavy to handle and for sure never touched drugs like some of our friends, but some of my best memories are of her and I skipping school and driving to Banff (90 mins away) in her Mom’s giant red Ford LTD station wagon to go hiking, or to Cochrane half an hour away for McKay’s ice cream. Somehow we never got caught either. Sometimes we would pile a dozen people in that same car and go on road trips. This was before seat belts obviously because I remember laying across 4 other people in the huge back seat. I was the shortest one in the group, and it didn’t seem out of the ordinary….. just really fun. And the laughter….. wow. So many laughs. Good times.

How I wished she were still living here when things were not going well for me. Even more though I wished she was there when things were going really really great. Like when I graduated from UofC, and in the happy days when I first got married. Sharing those things with her would have made them even better.

When I found Jenn on Facebook after what seemed like a whole lifetime without her, it was like something out of a chick flick movie. I got all weepy and a montage of memories paraded through my mind. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s still the great person she was all those years ago. Same awesome sense of humor. Maybe a little less likely to suggest I walk up and kiss a guy though. Maybe. Catching up with her has been such a surreal experience. I always knew she’d have a great life. She was always singing, so it’s no shock to me that she became a singer. Me, I couldn’t carry a tune in a box.

What can I tell you about Jenn that would embarrass her and cause her to never print this? Probably I shouldn’t go there.

How about the night when she came to pick me up from work because we were working in the same shopping mall, and she snuck in and hid in a rack of clothes, let me get everything locked up and turn the lights out, and then jumped out at me as I walked past the rack and scared me so bad I peed my pants? I think I mentioned she had a bit of a mean streak right?

But then there was a time we were downtown shopping and an elderly lady fell in the street, and Jenn was right there at her side, directing people to run and call 911 (way before the days of the cell phone), holding her hand and making her comfortable and telling me to protect her purse and shopping bags. We stayed with her until the ambulance showed up to take over. Didn’t matter that she was all of 16 at the time, people just listened and did what she told them. That’s Jenn.

No way am I going to lose touch with Jenn ever again. You only get one friend like her in any one life time but I got to have her as a friend twice! She made the biggest difference to me when we were growing up and I don’t think I would be quite the person I am today without her. Okay I know that sounds hokey, but if you know her you know the kind of person she is and the effect she can have on your life.

Jenn is going to hate this post. She has never been one to accept a complement very well, although I’ve got to assume she gets them all the time and should be used to it by now. Anyway, she did say I could write about almost anything, and she wouldn’t edit it. I hope she fixes my spelling mistakes though!!

Sherry