I’m pleased to have Stephanie (AKA Bad Mom) Guest Posting for me today! I’m sitting here trying to remember how I found her in the first place… another meme? Through a friend? Did she find ME, or did I find HER…? You know, since I don’t even remember what I did last week, it’s unlikely it will come to me in time to include it here. Let’s just say I’ve known her a while now. :)

She’s not a Bad Mom at all, and in fact if she weren’t younger than me I’d aspire to be her when I grow up. However, since that ship has sailed, I’m happy enough to live vicariously through her as she Blogs, Tweets and Facebooks (yes, I used it as a verb… what of it??) through a very fun, adventurous life, doing her own thing and not caring in the least that it’s not always the “normal” thing.

Welcome, Stephanie!

Role Play…

I have always very much been the kind of person who enjoys taking on different personae, if only in my own head. Everyone who gets to know me is a little surprised to know that I have never, ever entertained the idea of actually acting because I can be, frankly, quite dramatic. I think it’s an OCD thing – compartmentalizing, labeling – that makes me want to delineate who I am and how I behave at various times; it is not about anyone else necessarily noticing that I do it.

Since I was an only child for nearly 9 years and lived far from most of my friends, I had loads of time to create my own personal fun. “House” was a favorite but because I was often alone, I decided I would be “Homeless” and made up heartbreaking stories in which my baby & I were abused then abandoned by a cruel husband, spending many cold rainy nights huddling under a blanket tent until a benevolent stranger discovered my a) remarkable beauty and b) amazing floral arranging skills [I wanted to be a florist for a long time]. After my sister was born, I started dividing my time between playing the elaborate solo games I designed, aka Being a Kid, and taking care of her or helping make dinner or cleaning the house, which I named Being an Adult.

When I started college (the first time), I mixed some of my Being Adult behaviors with a new me I developed that I liked to call Sassy Cool Freshman. Unfortunately my definition of ‘sassy’ soon changed to ‘lazy’ and ‘cool’ became ‘drunken.’ This persona was really only good for figuring out who I didn’t want to be (kind of like the Homeless character); when I was sent went to community college as penance the next year, I found more success with Studious Yet Fun-Loving Co-Ed. That was my go-to for the next few years until I got married.

I have since been busy finding new sides of me to define and portray: Newly Married Nontraditional Housewife, Proud & Helpful Bookstore Clerk/Part-Time Teacher, Hip & Savvy Pregnant Thirtysomething, Harried-but-trying-to-be-Hip & Savvy Mom, Harried-and-not-much-giving-a-s***-who-knows-I’m-not Hip & Savvy Mom of Two, Admirable yet Effective Substitute Teacher, Admirable yet (usually) Effective (though often high strung) High School Teacher.

Now that my kids are old enough to plan sleepovers with their friends thus leaving my husband & I with free babysitting and an empty house at least once a week, I have revamped my Nontraditional Housewife and Harried Mom roles into Hot Saucy secretlynaughty Wife. Though this sometimes clashes with my Admirable High School Teacher self since teenagers can be frightfully inquisitive and unfortunately ubiquitous; I tend to shop and unwind in Portland where students don’t usually go.

I have to admit, though, it is interesting when some of these cross paths, if only for a moment – I think it’s healthy for people to realize that under the buttoned-up control-freak cardigan of a 40something Harry Connick Jr. fan lives a New Order-blasting vodka martini-drinking thigh high boot-wearing girl with questionable judgment.

Just as a for instance.