I’m not eating that.

Unless you’ve achieved Iron Chef status in your home’s kitchen (or live alone), you hear that more often than you’d like. (Here’s where you say “Yeah Jenn, you’re so right …and totally not alone in this which would mean you’re clearly a lousy cook!”)

I’m not a bad cook, but I don’t enjoy it either. I’m also no fabulous Baba like ShaMoo, who dives in and makes elaborate Ukrainian feasts that melt in your mouth (and still gets complaints from sons Frank&Frank, but never foodie-daughter Little Bit). I’m just a regular Irish-blooded mom who is at her wit’s end with regards to feeding her flock.

Here’s why.

I can’t face the idea of making the same dishes week after week. I just can’t! My family would probably be thrilled if I did though, at least for a while. They like what they like. The hubby is the biggest fuss-budget I’ve ever met. It took me the first ten years of our marriage to even get him to eat onions, for pete’s sake! Another few years to get him to even try pork tenderloin too, which he now loves. Pork chops? Forget it. Steak? Not on his watch. Roast beef? Only if it’s both a. cooked to a done-ness that makes it almost unrecognizable, and b. smothered in gravy. Are you feeling my pain yet?

Perish the thought of even trying something new. The look on his face is simply not worth it.

Case in point; I bought halibut steaks a few weeks back, and put a gorgeous crust of bleu cheese butter (exactly how it sounds – mix ’em together) and crushed hazel nuts on it, and baked it to perfection. Sorry, I just drooled even thinking about it. Basmati rice and (I think) asparagus served along side. Oh wow, was it good. Well, *I* thought it was good.

The Teen heard we were having fish, and promptly made herself ramen noodles and disappeared into her cave room.

Wee One whined the entire meal, and had to be force hand fed, after the coating had been carefully scraped off and removed from her plate.

Hubby said nothing, kept his head down, and carefully scraped it away himself and ate in silence.

Now, Hubby loves fish (except salmon, which he’s not fond of). However, it has to be cooked in the blandest possible way or in a way that he invents, or he won’t eat it. There’s only one way that I’ve created in all this time that he has agreed that he likes and will happily eat, and that is poached in a shallow baking dish with salsa and cheddar cheese (or another equally boring, standard fare cheese) over top. I have cholesterol problems. I need to eat more fish! But breaded and fried? No thanks. Once in a while is fine, but geez. Let’s have some variety and excitement here, ok?

So you’re probably asking what we do eat, that isn’t complained about. There is very little that we eat that someone doesn’t have something to say about. I have trouble with pasta – it makes me feel terrible after eating it. Tired, bloated, blech. I suspect I have a sensitivity to gluten, or maybe even wheat overall. It’s not severe, but it’s noticeable. I try to avoid eating it if I have anything at all to do that night, although I will eat it to keep the peace and the three of them happy on nights when I’m a homebody.

We eat a lot of chicken. Hubby loves a chicken breast, bone-in, skin-on. Coated (naturally) and baked. The Teen won’t eat it unless it’s had the work taken out of it (meaning boneless, skinless). Wee One is ok with either, since I generally cut a nice chunk from a breast and she doesn’t have to do much except cut it into bites. I’m fine with either.

I love a good steak, but don’t buy them because Hubby won’t eat it (apparently he objects to the texture) and the kids don’t care either way so why bother with the expensive cuts of meat? However, nothing beats a gorgeous filet mignon cooked to perfection, and I look forward to ordering one when we’re out for a nice dinner. My father often buys a large beef tenderloin and cuts his own… yum. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to be invited over for one! OH happy DAY!

We eat a lot of pork tenderloin, too. I had a recipe posted a while back that is still one of our favourite ways to prepare it, although baked and BBQ-ed is equally great. Incidentally, J-B makes the best pork tenderloin I’ve ever had, bar-none. Don’t tell Hubby I said that though… he thinks his is the best.

When Hubby works late, the girls and I can be a bit more creative. He won’t eat shrimp, so sometimes we’ll have a shrimp dinner with some lovely rice and mixed veggies. Or a shrimp stir fry with asian veggies, which we absolutely love. Water chestnuts are Wee One’s favourite vegetable, even before broccoli, which she loves. Oh, and if we’re feeling extremely decadent? We’ll have an artery-clogging dinner of escargot in garlic butter over mushroom caps… divine.

I would love to be more adventurous, but you see my problem. There’s only so many times I can eat pork tenderloin, broccoli, and potatoes. Or chicken breast, potatoes, and broccoli. Broccoli is really good for you, but come ON. Potatoes are not in my best interest, either.

Friends, I need your help. I need your recipes. Give me your tried and true family favourite recipes please, and save me!!