We are a great group of about 55 voices. Strangely enough, out of that nice number, only 5 are tenors (including John-Boy), and out of that 5, only 4 are men (um, also including J-B!). That leaves, of course, one female tenor. Lets call her RF. Imagine, if you will, being the only female tenor in a group of that size. It has taken RF years to become comfortable with herself in this role, and be “one of the guys”. And one of the guys she certainly is. The rest of us have never had a problem with it, and accept her as such with good natured ribbing, but you have to know that it’s always in the back of her mind that she sticks out a little from the rest of the section.

A few weeks ago, Knarf and I had dinner with J-B at his place (ShaMoo was unable to make it), and I asked them to sing “Unchained Melody” to me, which is a song the Basses and Tenors are doing for our concert on Feb 20th. Instead of singing it though, J-B floors us with the announcement that one of the Basses had made the decision to exclude RF on the basis that it was a “Men Only” piece.

RF has never, in the entire history of her involvement with this group as a tenor, been excluded from a piece simply because it’s a “Man’s” part. No one has ever even suggested it until now.

There’s a lot more to the story, but it’s involved, and frankly, you won’t care so I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that I was mad. Steam-from-my-ears-mad, in fact, and ready to do battle at our next board meeting, which was the following week. This individual is on the board with me, unfortunately. He is the type who believes he “owns the joint” and has the right to make decisions like this. I beg to differ.

Anyway, I fired off a late-night email to RF when I got home that evening, and had a reply first thing the next morning, in which she asked that I not bring it up – although she was very grateful to know that she has people in her corner and that I was happy to go to bat for her – and that she’d rather let it go. J-B, wise as always, also held me back. Not an easy thing to do once I’ve got something in my head, let me tell you. But I bit my tongue and kept quiet.

Ok, that’s not entirely true. I had a word with our president to let her know exactly what was going down – she wasn’t surprised – and I also had the same conversation with our artistic director. I was extremely happy that she was as shocked as we were about it, and had not been told.

The kicker though, was that Butthead intended to introduce a SECOND piece of music that ALSO excluded RF. He actually thought that it was “OK”, and that she’d understand. Believe it or not, there is no visible brain damage involved here. He’s just that stupid, and completely lacking in social skills.

At this point, J-B stepped in, and essentially put a stop to it with a quiet word, and an amazing amount of class. Totally not what I would have done, since I was ready to go to war, but absolutely the best way to do it, and for that I am extremely impressed by and proud of him. Also thankful that he saved the hothead me from making it an all-out battle when it didn’t need to be.

It’s not over, by any stretch. Damage has been done, and it will not be forgotten. In times like this, you learn who your friends are, and where people stand. RF knows she has people in her corner, and she’s going to be ok. One thing I’m certain of though; It will never happen again.

This annoys me to no end, and without exception, the wasted paper is torn up and discarded in the closest garbage can without even getting a glance. Parking lot spammers are among the kinds of businesses and people I would never, ever do business with, regardless of what sort of business they’re in.

“What other kinds of advertisements irk you?” you ask.

Well, since you asked, I’ll lay it out for you. I would never do business with any company or individual who would resort to:

1. Parking Lot Spam: as above
2. Telemarketer/Phone Sales: We all get these calls – they wait until they’re sure you’re sitting down enjoying dinner with your family, and then they call. It’s unfortunate that these people aren’t intelligent enough to get a real job, but then again, it’s not my problem. You call and disturb my family dinner, and you can expect to deal with my wrath.
3. Phone Donation Requests: Telemarketers with a cause. Blech. Really, there are so many good, worthwhile charities and causes out there, as we all know. However, it’s my choice when and where I donate my money, and I find these calls every bit as intrusive as telemarketers. If I’m going to give you money, it’s on my terms, and my time line.
4. Door to Door Sales/Donation Requests: These days you never know who is coming to your door, and if they’re legit or not. Better that you contact these places of your own volition via channels you can verify than hand out money to someone coming to your door. The exceptions to this, for me, are Unicef boxes at Hallowe’en, and Girl guide cookies – and I don’t think the guides even go door to door anymore, do they? Not in this area anyway.

   Last but not least:

5. Email Spam: Just as a rule of thumb, unless you asked for and are expecting their email offers and can trace the email back to the actual company, you don’t deal with anyone who sends you email advertisements. Period.

There are other ways to advertise your business. Other legitimate, honest, non-invasive techniques you can use.

Oh, and while it’s a cult, and not a valid business, there is one type of invasive caller that I’d love to sic my dog on… the dreaded, invasive, JW. They show up in pairs, dressed in dull, somber suits. They smile as though they’re on crack, and ask the inevitable “have you heard the word” questions. The worst thing about these people is that they often drag their children along, and make them stand in front of you and recite garbage they can’t possibly know the meaning of. I wish it were illegal to do this sort of thing to children. Surely brainwashing is a form of abuse. My heart goes out to these kids. My growling dog goes out to their parents. Well, not really, she’s a good dog and wouldn’t really bite them… probably.

Rant over. I feel better now. But, my friends – how do you feel about it?

I have the local PD programmed into my cell phone, which always seemed like a good idea to me. It wasn’t a 911 kind of call, but it was definitely a bad situation that needed to be acted upon. In 10 seconds I was on the line with a dispatcher, and explaining what I’d found. As I was giving the plate # and description of the car, the father, a well dressed man who looked to be of middle eastern descent, came out of the liquor store. He saw me standing behind the car, gave me a suspicious look, but then decided I was no threat (hah) and headed for his door.

Trying very hard to keep my cool – which is really tough for me, given that I’m Irish, a mother bear, and passionate about protecting children, even those who aren’t mine – I laid into the negligent father (let’s call him “Buffoon” from now on, shall we?) with “Buddy, you cannot leave a child alone in a car!” and “You left your child alone in a car while you went into a liquor store?!” and “You’ve just endangered your son’s life!” and then when he came up with his very witty retort of “You mind your own business!” I told him I was on the phone with the police, and they were on the way. He kept repeating that I should mind my own business, at one point trying to look aggressive and heading for me, until he noticed I wasn’t backing up and didn’t look afraid of him, and then he turned around and went back to his driver’s side door, said he’d only been in there for 3 minutes, and that he was going to call his lawyer too. You do that, Buffoon. Did I mention how packed the parking lot was? Ever been in a liquor store on Father’s Day weekend, where it took you only 3 minutes to get in and out? Me either.

I could see him wrestling with himself, trying to figure out if he should take off or stay and wait, and pretending to talk to someone on his cell, which I would have found pretty comical if I hadn’t been so steamed. He got in and out of his car a couple times, and made a big show of taking pictures of MY van with his cell (if I suddenly disappear or get blown up, someone call and remind the cops of this, will you? Thanks.) and even pointed at Wee One and said “My son looks to be in better shape than your child!” Really? You can see my daughter through the dark tinted windows of my van, can you, Buffoon? He must have gone to college to come up with those one-liners. I just laughed at him and told him to go ahead and run his mouth off if it made him feel better.

A squad car was there in 4 minutes flat – can I just say how amazed I was? And how proud of our PD that made me?!

Buffoon headed for the officer as he stepped out, and started yelling that he’d only been gone for 3 minutes, but he was cut off in mid-sentence and told to go and stand by his car, and that he’d get his turn in a minute. heehee

I repeated what I’d told the dispatcher, adding the part that it’d be nigh-on impossible to get in and out of that liquor store in 3 minutes, and the cute young officer (what is it about men in uniform, anyway? Yowza!) rolled his eyes and said “It’s too bad there aren’t any good parenting laws. I could never leave my own daughter all by herself.” I’m happier there are laws that state you can’t abandon your child for any length of time. It’s called child abuse, folks, and you could get a hefty fine, or even jail time.

The officer thanked me, and as there was no reason for me to hang around, especially with Wee One there, I headed off to do my banking. When I came out Buffoon was gone, and I was pleased to see that the officer had hung around to make sure my vehicle wasn’t touched on his way out.

I don’t know what the final outcome of this was. I hope he got a solid fine. I hope it’s the last I see of him. I hope he doesn’t take it out on that cute little boy. Most of all, I hope his wife kicks his butt up around his ears for endangering her baby.

You know what the sad thing is? This isn’t the first time I’ve been in this situation – over the years I’ve reported 3 other people, all women, for leaving their babies alone in their vehicle while they shopped, and told off a few others. In one case about 7 years ago, it was a woman who left her 2 year old boy and 5 year old girl alone in their car, neither of them was in a car seat, the windows were wide open and it was a sweltering August morning. She did a grocery cart full of shopping, and came out to find a squad car waiting on her, too.

There are people on this planet who do not deserve the precious babies they are blessed with.

What would you have done?